Grooming is a gradual, stealthy process during which the groomer builds an emotional bond with the target, meaning to abuse or exploit them sexually later on. Children and teens are especially vulnerable to grooming because of their inexperience and strong emotional needs.

If a groomer targeted your child, or if you fell victim to grooming as a minor, seek help and contact a sexual abuse attorney. A sexual misconduct lawyer can explain your options under California law and let you know how to take action against the perpetrator.

How Grooming Develops

Grooming can look innocent at first, and a long time may pass before the groomer’s behavior crosses socially acceptable boundaries. 

First, the predator will target their victim. It will often be a child with high emotional needs, an unstable home life, or some other vulnerability. The groomer will give the child plenty of attention, collect information about them, and work to gain their trust. 

Next, the groomer will start filling the child’s needs to become important to the child. This may involve attentive listening, flattery, or giving gifts or money. The groomer will then try to isolate the child from other friendships or healthy relationships with adults to increase their dependence. 

At this point, the groomer may start sexually exploiting the child while presenting sexual behavior as “friendly” or “normal.” Once the relationship turns sexual, the predator will typically pressure the child to keep it secret by using manipulation, blame, or extortion. 

Recognizing Grooming: Red Flags

The predator is often someone you’d perceive as a respected and trusted person, like a family friend, a neighbor, a youth counselor, or a pastor. It’s crucial to be alert to potential grooming patterns and signs. The groomer may:

• Give a child gifts and an unusual amount of attention
• Spend a lot of one-on-one time with the child and/or share secrets with them
• Step in as a provider of rides, help with homework, or other things the child needs
• Communicate with the child away from the parents’ eyes, such as on social media or via texts
• Offer to watch the child or take them to a special activity when the parents are absent
• Show unusual interest in the child’s romantic interests or dating relationships
• Initiate inappropriate or unnecessary touching like hugging or tickling

If you notice that your child talks a lot about an older person, becomes withdrawn, keeps secrets from you, or receives gifts of unknown origin, seek qualified counsel immediately. You may be able to expose the groomer and stop their behavior before it progresses into sexual assault. 

Should You Contact a Sexual Abuse Attorney If You or Your Child Fell Victim to Grooming?

It can be devastating to learn that someone you knew and trusted is a groomer. If you’re a parent, you may blame yourself for failing to recognize grooming in time. Please seek therapy for yourself and your child, and also look into consulting a sexual assault and harassment attorney. 

Apart from reporting the incident to law enforcement, you could work with a sexual assault attorney to file a civil lawsuit against the perpetrator. The groomer may have to compensate you for your pain and suffering, therapy costs, and other eligible expenses. It won’t erase your experience, but you could gain closure and empowerment. 

Call The Cifarelli Law Firm To Consult a Sexual Abuse Litigation Attorney 

If a sexual groomer targeted you or your child, contact us for discreet and reliable sexual abuse legal counsel. Our empathetic, dedicated sexual abuse lawyers are here to help you collect proof and seek justice against the offender. 

Call 949-409-6324 for a free, no-obligation consultation with a sexual abuse attorney in Irvine, CA.